The Scarf

© 2014 Lyf Stolte

CAROL

I don’t know why you did that. It wasn’t like I was in any danger George.

GEORGE

Well, you see, uh, I, uh, know that, my, uh, love, but, well, you see, I couldn’t very well let you, uh, you know, just continue on like that.

CAROL

OH, I see. So, I was carrying on too much for you was I?!

GEORGE

It’s not, well, uh, it’s not like that —

CAROL

Oh, sure it’s not. You just can’t stand that I wear it better than you do.

GEORGE

I, well, I can, uh, can totally, um, appreciate your ability, to, uh, well, to wear, you see, to wear things, uh maybe, that are more, you know, from my closet, than uh, from, well, yours.

CAROL

Look love. You know I didn’t choose to wear it just to upset you.

GEORGE

But was that, uh, was that, well, part of, uh, why you chose, chose, chose it?

CAROL

Dear, just calm yourself. You are barely understandable with all that stammering of yours. I am truly sorry that my wearing your scarf has gotten you this riled up. Just relax babe. Here, let me take your coat for you, and then I’ll put the kettle on and we’ll relax with a good crossword and some tea. How does that sound love?

GEORGE

It, uh, it, it, it…(pause) It. Sounds. Lovely. Thank. You. Mary. Sorry, uh, I mean, um, Carol.

CAROL

(laughs good-naturedly)

Oh hon. Don’t worry about that slip up. It’s ok.

(takes his jacket and hat, gives him a kiss on the cheek and leaves gaily)

GEORGE

Um…Love….could I, uh…(pause) Could. I. Have. The. Bengal. Spice. Tea. Please. Thank. You.

CAROL (o.s.)
Of course sweety.

GEORGE takes his outdoor shoes off and puts his indoor shoes on. He goes over to the mirror on the wall, looks to the left, then to the right, he glances offstage to where CAROL is getting the tea. Confident that no one is watching, he straightens up and addresses the mirror.

GEORGE

Well, what am I supposed to do now? She hasn’t taken it off since we left. She had it on the WHOLE time at the party. I swear she knows. (pause) I know that she can’t know, but then again, I don’t know that I do know that. She could know. I don’t know how she could know, but then what do I know. Stop George. Breathe. (pause) Yes. Thank you. The colors really make my eyes pop, don’tcha agree? (pause) But — (pause) Ok. You’re right. (pause) Can you do that? (pause) Isn’t that illegal? I mean, they have rules for that kind of thing don’t they? (pause) She’d never go for it. Not even if your plan worked. I won’t be able to get it back in time. I bet she won’t take it off until bed time and then that’s too late. At least that’s what Racket told me. (pause) Ok, well, I’ll let you talk to Racket and I’ll sip tea and do the (makes quote marks in the air) “crossword puzzle”. When we are 4 clues from being done, I’ll make an excuse to check in with you. Later Mary.

GEORGE bows very regally towards the mirror and then assumes his normal stature.  CAROL comes in with the tea and the puzzle. She sets the tea and the mugs down on the table between their two chairs, puts a pencil beside his mug and a pen beside hers. She kisses GEORGE rather passionately, which he clearly enjoys, but is also a touch surprised by.

CAROL has thoroughly enjoyed the kiss, throws the scarf around her neck even more securely and flops with an elated thwump! onto her chair. She doctors up her tea, takes her copy of the puzzle and her pen, and sips her tea while reading the clues.

GEORGE meanwhile, is a little flustered. He’s not sure what just happened or what to do next. Assuming that playing it normal is probably for the best, he adjusts the collar on his shirt and sits in his chair carefully, takes his tea cup, blows on his tea, sips it gingerly, puts it down, takes his version of the puzzle, his pencil and begins reading the clues as well.

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